This piece was written in collaborating with Sofia Nehal - here's a message from Sofia about herself and her piece...
Hey everyone! My name is Sofia Nehal, and I'm an entrepreneur, author, and social media addict. From TikTok to Instagram to other various platforms, I've used them all.
As someone who lives and breathes social media, it can be toxic at times. That's why I wanted to write this piece so you all could get a glimpse of the toxic side effects of social media. From questioning your looks to feeling majorly insecure, this piece talks about it all. If you're interested in reading other heartfelt pieces, check out my book "The Sunflower's Moon" By Sofia Nehal on Amazon. And if you want to say hello or see where life's taking me, check me out on Instagram @Sofia.Nehal
How can you love yourself when the whole world is filtered, looked at from certain angles, and photoshopped with no flaws? How do you love yourself when everyone around you seems so perfect and beautiful, but you're just you? You don't have the model legs, or an acne-free face, or the curvy body type. So how can we love ourselves when the world has made it seem that nothing except certain qualities is beautiful? How can we love ourselves overall?
As a woman in my young twenties, I find it hard to navigate through the toxicity of beauty standards. Don't even let me get started on the standards that come from various social media platforms. Sometimes I even wonder if certain individuals are real due to how "perfect" and unreal they look. By perfect I mean no flaws whatsoever. Perfect lighting, perfect skin, perfect body, perfect background- perfect everything! Sometimes (most times) I'm tempted to get rid of all my platforms to tell myself that those girls don't define what beauty is, and I am beautiful. Yes- they are beautiful, but that doesn't mean that if I don't look like them then I'm automatically ugly. Most girls and I try to only post the best photos that we get after taking at least 500 in just one sitting. Then we'd edit it and debate for hours or days if we want to post it. If we do publish the post; then all it takes is not reaching an ideal amount of likes or some overthinking to archive the post. So, is it social media's fault where- we have these beauty standards that women are ideally pushed to achieve? Or is it the overthinking that makes us assume that we must look and be a certain way to "be beautiful" as the beauty standards around us?
My (Emily's) response:
With the amount of social media we’ve all consumed over the years; with the endless reels upon reels of perfect bodies dancing to our favourite TikTok songs; with the layers of clear skin and the floods of straight locks of hair, can we really blame ourselves for thinking that there’s a certain way to be beautiful? Are we really to blame for internalizing beauty standards that are shoved down our throat from the minute our fingers set place on our phone screens? If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, then beauty is crafted by the masses of Instagram influencers and celebrities we deem 'perfect'. We’re in a tunnel vision of perfection and the only way I think we can get out of it is to knock down the walls of perfection surrounding us.
As sickeningly cliche as it sounds, any sort of self love comes from deep within, far deeper than the surface of a phone screen. A phone screen with metres upon metres of picture perfect people for us to scroll through. If it takes deleting Instagram, do it. If it takes un-following those diet pages, un-follow. If it takes distance, take a step back away from social media, from the world of filters and plastic infused bodies, especially when those who own the bodies don’t tell you that plastic runs beneath their skin. The ones that keep the secret to beauty, just that, a secret.
Let the secret be known that there is far more to self love than living up to unreachable bodies images. There's so much more to self love than beauty standards that weren’t made to fit our frame. There’s so much more to self love than what social media feeds us.
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